Empty Glass...

It's been a few months since I decided to look another opportunities out there.. I'm talking about moving to another company, another industry, switch career, go take master degree, searching for scholarship overseas, take a part time job, thinking about building my own business....anything!! Anything but now !!
Please.. don't get me wrong.. It's not that I don't like it here as where I am and what I do now.. It's not that I don't thank and be grateful enough to still have a job, friends, co-worker and boss who support and have their full faith on me... It's just.. that.. I begin to feel almost like an empty glass now... contra productive.. worthless..

It's not that I hate being a banker.. I always have My Mom as my Role model, she's a banker and deep inside I envy her so much.. I used to think that it's not easy to work in a Bank, smart people can work everywhere, but to be a banker, U have to be honest and trusty since u are working with a lot of people's money.. At least that's what my Mom always taught me since I was a child...
When I applied for this job a year ago.. I had this idealistic view...
Working in a foreign bank, meet a lot of rich people, handle their account, be smart and learn how to be a great wealth manager... tell them in what and how much to invest and how long in certain period of time..
time goes by.. and now.. I already lost all those believes.. There's nothing as a great relationship, understanding, trust... It's all just business !
Let's say that there was a client, He's loaded and want to invest the money, he asked me where he should put the money.. Of course the client trust me 100% as his Account Manager in the bank.. From my personal opinion there is no investment safer than savings or time deposit nowadays, but those products do not generate revenue to the bank.. and I have my Target ! Therefore.. I would recommend him to put his money in a less conventional product and risk his money to achieve my target..
Do U think I am a bad banker...? No..! We call it professional !
next case.. there is a client who want to take all of her portfolio in the bank because she got a better interest rate in the other bank.. as an account officer, I have to manage the portfolios I handled, therefore I insist the client not to do that and insist her to keep her money in the bank..
Or.. I keep persuade people to put their money in the bank that myself do not trust in...
Am I out of my mind ?! No ! We call it persistence and committed !

I don't blame anyone, not the condition, the company, or even the bosses...
They are all just the same as me... the victim !
It's my problem..
It's the consequences..

The thing is.. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life... In general as a professional, I see how my Mom work hard and struggle for life.. be the backbone for the family.
Being a professional, get fully respected, be settled and secured is one thing I always wanted..
In detail as a banker, U have no idea what people can do for money...
But now everything become so far and blur..
Professionalism and career don't impress me that much anymore..

There are many ways to obtain success...and most people get it by doing what they feel most comfortable and enjoy.. like what my friend Erika said "Find the job U like and U don't have to work for the rest of ur life..."
I have to find my passion and do it.. as simple as that.. and I'm wasting my time to find it by doing what I do now...