18 Jam Perjalanan dan 1.5 Tablet Antimo - Lebaran Part 2

Yep.. seperti yang gw bilang sebelumnya, liburan kali ini bakal beda, tapi lucunya semua ga terjadi di bumi perkemahan..
Malam itu, beberapa menit sebelum gw ke gereja untuk menata barang-barang yang akan dibawa, mama telpon ke hp…
“Jo.. Engkong udah ga ada…besok kita berangkat ke Comal ya, kamu ga usah berangkat SuperCamp..”
Shock.. kaget..
Opa gw meninggal dan gw harus berangkat ke Comal, Pekalongan besok paginya..

Perasaan gw campur aduk, semua jerih payah, rapat dan segala ide2 yang udah gw dedikasikan untuk acara kemping ini.. segala kesenangan dan canda tawa yang ada di bayangan gw semua ilang gitu aja.
Gw sebel gw ga jadi kemping..
Gw bingung mau ngomong apa sama temen2 panitia terutama seksi acara yang akan semakin kekurangan personil dan terpaksa bekerja ekstra tanpa gw..
Gw males jalan darat ke pekalongan pas hari H-1 dimana semua jalan akan disesaki arus mudik.
Terlebih lagi…
Gw sebel sama diri gw sendiri karena gw lebih mikirin acara kemping hura-hura dibanding engkong gw yang meninggal !
Bukannya gw ga sedih.. tapi toh gw dah jenguk sewaktu engkong sakit, kondisi beliau sudah sangat kritis sewaktu gw terakhir kali jenguk beberapa bulan yang lalu dan engkongpun sudah lupa sama cucu2nya termasuk gw.. singkat kata.. kita semua sudah cukup merelakan jika sewaktu-waktu Tuhan mengijinkan engkong ‘pergi’.
Tapi kenapa sekarang ?!?

Besok paginya gw masih belum bisa maafin diri gw sendiri karena masih tersisa ketidakrelaan gw ga ikut kemping.. Ditambah jalanan yang macet ajubilah, heran.. kalau semua orang udah tau setiap tahun setiap lebaran pasti jalanan semacet itu kenapa tetap saja orang mudik di hari yg sama ?! Daaaan… setelah melalui 18 Jam perjalanan dan 1.5 tablet Antimo, sampailah gw di Comal jam 2.30 pagi..

Hari pertama,
Gw sekeluarga ke rumah duka di Pekalongan.. peti mati sudah ditutup dan gw ga punya kesempatan untuk ngeliat jenazah engkong untuk terakhir kalinya.
Gw agak bingung waktu doa pertama pake hio, maklum, engkong masih Kong Hu Chu dan gw ga pernah tau tata cara sembahyang agama nenek moyang gw sendiri.. Keunikan itu ternyata berlanjut malamnya ketika diadakan upacara arwah dengan tata cara Budha, entah tiba-tiba datang darimana muncullah segerombolan sirkus (baca: pendeta dan aktifis-aktifis dari Wihara) untuk membawakan upacara arwah.
Upacara berlangsung dengan nyanyian2 doa Budhis yang sumpah gw ga ngerti artinya !! Gw cuma ngeliatin si pendeta wanita gondrong yang dengan penuh penghayatan membacakan nyanyian doa sambil megang mic... ( Gw jadi kangen karaoke =p )..
Gw bertanya-tanya dalam hati, gimana gw bisa menghayati doanya kalau gw aja ga ngerti artinya.. Gimana orang lain bisa ikut mendoakan kalau yang mengerti arti bahasa dan tata caranya hanya si rombongan sirkus itu? Padahal kita sekeluarga kan pingin ikut mendoakan engkong…
Apa gw paksain aja berdoa menurut kepercayaan gw ditengah lantunan suara si pendeta beserta alat-alat musik kelontongannya.. ? Apa nanti Tuhan gw sama Tuhan mereka ga berantem ya diatas sana ? sebenernya si engkong mau pergi ke surga yang mana ?
Gw memutuskan untuk mengalah dan kembali bengong ngeliatin si pendeta sekaligus heran,
Kok bisa ya dia menghayati dan apal doa-doa sakti dengan bahasa aneh itu sambil merem melek tanpa terpengaruh mata-mata liar kita sekeluarga besar yang entah punya pikiran yang sama seperti gw atau tidak ?

Malam itu juga gw dikejutkan dengan kedatangan dua teman baik SMA gw ( Jangan Tanya cowo apa cewe karena SMA gw sekolah Homogen )…
Bambam memang tinggal di Pekalongan dan gw sudah menyadari asal muasalnya sejak retret SMA, papanya dokterdan memiliki hubungan yang sangat baik dengan keluarga gw di Pekalingan, tapi yang bikin surprise adalah Suci, ternyata secara sangat kebetulan cwnya adalah orang Pekalongan dan dia pas ada di tempat.
Menyenangkan sekali bisa bertemu mereka justru di situasi dan kondisi yang tak terduga.
=)

Dan malam itu diakhiri dengan kita sekeluarga berkumpul.. seolah terbagi dua antara kubu anak dengan kubu cucu-cucu… gw sebagai cucu tertua dengan sukses melayani (baca: dikerjai) sepupu-sepupu yang lain terutama Marisa yang tanpa belas kasih selalu menjadikan pangkuan gw sebagai tempat parkirnya dan badan gw sebagai sansak hidupnya.

Gw sudah mulai merelakan supercamp.. ada keceriaan lain yang berbeda disini.. =)














Hari kedua , Engkong dikremasi.
Tidak banyak yang bisa diceritakan disini, sebelum dimasukkan ke lubang pembakaran, untuk kedua kalinya kita berdoa dipimpin kembali oleh para pendeta Wihara. Kali ini gw mencoba untuk lebih kushuk, kali ini gw mencoba untuk tidak terpengaruh oleh pesona si pendeta gondrong, kali ini pandangan gw tertuju ke emak…pandangannya tampak kosong, matanya selalu berair dan sesekali air matanya jatuh membasahi pipinya yang keriput termakan usia.. Saat itu gw sangat sedih ngeliat paras emak.. Suami yang selama lebih dari setengah abad menemani dia sekarang sudah tiada.
Ga banyak memori gw sama engkong, ga banyak momen-momen khusus yang gw laluin sama beliau, karena engkong bukanlah orang yang banyak bicara dan berekspresi, tidak seperti emak..
Namun engkong dikenal sebagai pribadi yang sangat santun, rendah hati, baik, dan sangat menyayangi anak dan cucu-cucunya.. sesekali saja engkong berbicara, namun itu cukup membuat siapapun yang mendengarnya tersenyum. Engkong selalu memberi warna dalam hidup kami sekeluarga dengan sentuhan khas kuas khas nasehat-nasehatnya.
Saat itu, untuk pertama kalinya, gw merasakan kehilangan engkong.. mata gw mulai berair..

Beberapa saat sebelum peti mati dimasukkan ke lubang pembakaran, papa sebagai anak tertua menyampaikan sepatah kata ucapan yang tidak bisa diselesaikannya.. belum pernah gw ngelihat papa menangis seperti itu…
Beruntung gw sedang memegang kamera saat itu..
Air mata yang ga kuat lagi gw tahan keluar semakin deras, dan gw semakin sibuk foto apa dan siapapun didepan gw, menyibukkan mata gw yg basah untuk tetap fokus melewati lensa kamera dan menyamarkan kesedihan gw dibaliknya…
















Hari ketiga,
Abu jenazah engkong disebar ke Laut…
Pagi itu kita kembali ke krematorium utk mengambil abu jenazah untuk disebar ke laut, yess.. kita naik kapal.. bukan kapal pesiar, kapal terbang apalagi kapal selam.. Cuma kapal nelayan biasa.. tapi sungguh sangat menyenangkan dan merupakan 20 menit pengalaman tak terlupakan. =)
Perjalanan ke tengah laut diisi sepenuh dengan acara foto2.. sesekali kamera mengarah ke birunya laut lepas, atau berusaha menangkap gambar lepasnya burung-burung camar yang ikut mengantarkan kepergian engkong.. =)
Selamat tinggal engkong..

Ga kerasa 4 hari gw melewati waktu bersama keluarga besar papa, berduka namun tidak melewatkan sedikitpun momen ceria bersama semua saudara. Bahkan emakpun terlihat sudah merelakan kepergian engkong dengan senyumnya, walaupun kadang masih terlihat larut dalam pikiran sepinya..
Gw bahkan sudah tidak memikirkan sedikitpun tentang Supercamp..

Ada duka… namun ada senyuman dibaliknya
Ada sepi.. namun mengumpulkan kembali keceriaan yang sudah lama hilang..
Ada rindu.. namun muncul kebahagiaan dan kerelaan untuk sesuatu yang lebih baik untuk orang yang dicintai…
Dan pada akhirnya… ada rasa syukur dan terima kasih.. sekali lagi.. untuk terakhir kalinya..
Engkau menorehkan sentuhan kuas terakhirmu Engkong tercinta..
=)

Nyamuk-Nyamuk Centil - Lebaran Part 1

It's been a while since my last post, and I still have to gather all of my writing mood that scattered in pieces recently..

But now I think it's best to start it again..

And.. it's been a while also since my last post in Bahasa..

I'm not trying to be cocky..

I just feel I could express a different side of me in certain way.. ^^

Gw seneng banget karena liburan lebaran kali ini akan beda.. ^^

Yang ada di pikiran gw cuma SuperCamp 2, sekuel dari acara kemping gereja yang secara sukses pernah ada 2 tahun lalu.. Waktu Bung Timo ajak gw untuk bantu2 panitia sebagai seksi acara H- 1 bulan secara informal (di tangga gereja sambil lalu… =p) , gw ga langsung meluluskan atau mengiyakan, gw tanggapi dengan jurus jawaban standar ngambang khas gw, “Ok tar gw kabarin lagi ya mo !.. daah gw misa dulu..” =p..

Gw merenung..

Tadinya gw pikir gw dah pensiun dari segala kegiatan perkempingan, pergerejaan, atau segala bentuk perpanitiaan yang akan menyita sedikit banyak waktu luang gw (itupun kalau masih ada.. ),

Belum lagi gw sebenernya bukan seorang pecinta alam, gw lebih memilih bobo di kamar ber-AC gw dengan ditemani bantal guling kesayangan dan diselimuti bedcover buduk tercinta yang entah kapan terakhir kali dicuci =p.

Atau gw selalu kesulitan memilih posisi pewe waktu melakukan ‘ritual’ di WC jongkok.. gw sangat menikmati 3 menit waktu keramat gw (pencernaan gw sangat lancar =p) di kamar mandi rumah gw diikuti dengan mandi air hangat buatan water heater malang yang selalu kepanasan diatap rumah gw..

Tapiiiii.. semua kenikmatan itu ga akan ada tandingannya dibanding ketiadaan si mbak Asih.. Yep.. Mbak Asih, yang juga dilakukan pembantu rumah tangga pada umumnya pas hari lebaran.. akan pulang kampong !! Geez.. What would I do without her… ?!?! Cuci piring sendiri, cuci baju sendiri, belum nyapu dan ngepel2 rumah…grr..

Hahaha gw memang cukup tergolong manja dan tergantung dengan keberadaan sang pembantu rumah tangga… banyak cerita lucu seputar ini yang ga akan cukup disempilkan di 1 postingan ini… =p

Well.. anyway, akhirnya gw memutuskan untuk kesekian kalinya menjadi panitia aktif dalam acara perkempingan ini.. berpartner untuk kesejuta kalinya dengan Bung Timo yang walaupun kita berasal dari jenis species yang berbeda, somehow selalu punya chemistry yang sama dalam kancah politik pergerejaan.

Sangat menyenangkan menemukan kemesraan itu lagi, reuni sama teman-teman gereja yang lucu, gila dan aneh bin ajaib… melalui serangkaian rapat-rapat tak produktif yang yang diisi oleh 80% canda tawa dan 20% keseriusan semu.. menghabiskan malam di aula gereja dengan ditemani nyamuk-nyamuk centil, segelas aqua kotak (emang ada ya ??) dan sekotak martabak yang kebersihannya diragukan setelah dicuili tangan-tangan rakus yang seolah tak berdosa…

Hari H-2, semua siap… gw bakal berangkat lebih dulu sebagai tim advance yang buka jalan untuk hiking (beraza tarzan gw) dan menyiapkan segala sesuatunya sebelum peserta sampai di lokasi…

Setelah melewati 1 hari terakhir gw di kantor, dan memaanfaatkan layanan terakhir Mbak Asih untuk ambilin beberapa celana dalam gw dari jemuran sebelum dia pulang kampong.. Gw bener2 siap dijemput dan pergi kemping.. Yihaaaaaaa !!

-bersambung-

Ps: It would be great to look the stars together with you… =)

Sometimes, Love Just Ain't Enough

Now, I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

(Chorus)

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No

Empty Glass...

It's been a few months since I decided to look another opportunities out there.. I'm talking about moving to another company, another industry, switch career, go take master degree, searching for scholarship overseas, take a part time job, thinking about building my own business....anything!! Anything but now !!
Please.. don't get me wrong.. It's not that I don't like it here as where I am and what I do now.. It's not that I don't thank and be grateful enough to still have a job, friends, co-worker and boss who support and have their full faith on me... It's just.. that.. I begin to feel almost like an empty glass now... contra productive.. worthless..

It's not that I hate being a banker.. I always have My Mom as my Role model, she's a banker and deep inside I envy her so much.. I used to think that it's not easy to work in a Bank, smart people can work everywhere, but to be a banker, U have to be honest and trusty since u are working with a lot of people's money.. At least that's what my Mom always taught me since I was a child...
When I applied for this job a year ago.. I had this idealistic view...
Working in a foreign bank, meet a lot of rich people, handle their account, be smart and learn how to be a great wealth manager... tell them in what and how much to invest and how long in certain period of time..
time goes by.. and now.. I already lost all those believes.. There's nothing as a great relationship, understanding, trust... It's all just business !
Let's say that there was a client, He's loaded and want to invest the money, he asked me where he should put the money.. Of course the client trust me 100% as his Account Manager in the bank.. From my personal opinion there is no investment safer than savings or time deposit nowadays, but those products do not generate revenue to the bank.. and I have my Target ! Therefore.. I would recommend him to put his money in a less conventional product and risk his money to achieve my target..
Do U think I am a bad banker...? No..! We call it professional !
next case.. there is a client who want to take all of her portfolio in the bank because she got a better interest rate in the other bank.. as an account officer, I have to manage the portfolios I handled, therefore I insist the client not to do that and insist her to keep her money in the bank..
Or.. I keep persuade people to put their money in the bank that myself do not trust in...
Am I out of my mind ?! No ! We call it persistence and committed !

I don't blame anyone, not the condition, the company, or even the bosses...
They are all just the same as me... the victim !
It's my problem..
It's the consequences..

The thing is.. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life... In general as a professional, I see how my Mom work hard and struggle for life.. be the backbone for the family.
Being a professional, get fully respected, be settled and secured is one thing I always wanted..
In detail as a banker, U have no idea what people can do for money...
But now everything become so far and blur..
Professionalism and career don't impress me that much anymore..

There are many ways to obtain success...and most people get it by doing what they feel most comfortable and enjoy.. like what my friend Erika said "Find the job U like and U don't have to work for the rest of ur life..."
I have to find my passion and do it.. as simple as that.. and I'm wasting my time to find it by doing what I do now...

Post Movie Report : Push

Hohoho...
Finally I got the chance to see the movie... quite a dilemma at the first between 'Marley & Me', but since they did play 'Marley & Me' no more @citoz, we decided to watch Push.. ^^

To be honest I don't think the movie is that good, I can say the idea is more or less taken from the combination of movie Jumper and the X-Men..
The scene and movie background is the same like jumper which there're people with unique and supernatural ability who are chased by another bunch of people like special agent which called the 'division'.. but unlike jumper, there are various abilities in this movie all combined together make a more complex story plot divided in two sides.. bad and good..
At some point, I just couldn't grab the complexity and the story just flowing make a circling plot which ended pretty confusing and 'flat'..
Although the idea of superhuman battling took almost the whole frame of the movie, but I can say there're too few action scene in compare with x-men or jumper...The action is pretty cool and all the fight scenes are fun but there needs to be more to the script than that.

At the end I would say 7 out of 10 is the best rating I can give to the movie... ^^

Kabut kalbu beraroma sendu

Dahulu ada keindahan dalamku
Warna-warni menghiasi relung hati
Kadang bersinar, kadang hanya menyala kaku
Namun tak pernah mati...

Dahulu tak kosong ruang itu
Bersih rapi terawat
Sesaat angin sejuk meniup pilu
atau hanya terasa hangat

Dahulu lidahku liat
meliuk mesra dengan kata-kata indah
Berisi cinta hebat
yang takkan pernah punah

Dahulu kupuja masa yang kupunya
Indah terisi hari-hari bersamamu
Namun semua telah sirna
Seturut cahaya yang larut dalam kabut kalbu beraroma sendu
Bagaikan pelangi kehilangan warnanya
Aku merindukanmu...

-Johan, January 25th, 2009-

Post Movie Report : City of Ember

Wew.. another movie giving a slight glance about how the world will end..
It's not the newest movie, in fact I was about several-months late watching the movie since it played at the theater.. Well..watching DVD is still a great idea for me to spend the weekend alone.. :p
Like I said before, the idea of the movie more or less is about the doomsday, how a bunch of what they called the 'builders' build an underground world to save all mankind because of the uninhabitable outside-world... The underground world called The City of Ember..
The City of Ember built with Generator as its power source and would only last for 200 years..
The main frame is about how 2 kids trying to escape the city when the time has passed and the generator can not support the population any longer..

It's not the best fantasy movies I've ever watched, it lacks of special effect and I feel that the movie should made in longer duration.. I got the idea but I kinda curious for the details, like why and how the outside-world became uninhabitable ...?
Anyway.. Unlike some of my friends who said this movie is a big failure..
I did enjoy the movie.. :) Hmm I wonder.. What would it be if you live underground and never see the Sun in your whole life ? ^^

Catchy-card shuffle..

It's been a while since my last sweet 17th Birthday Party -*for ur info, I've always been involved with the party organizer ('full color' & 'chick n click') as anything they need me to be, an usher, game-stand keeper, theatrical actor and an MC...

Tonight the theme was 'Viva Las Vegas' with Sharon as the birthday girl...
The decoration was great, inspired by casinos in Las Vegas, two big cards ( King Dimond & Queen clover ) attached to the background at the stage, and also there were 4 game-stands to play for ; Darts,
Dice-Game, Card-Game and Wheel of fortune..

Everything went well..
I became the card-game croupier, one coin each participant for joining the game, the coins stood as the bet.. I distributed the card after performing a catchy card-shuffle..and quite simple, the winner is the participant with the biggest card... ^^



It's been almost 4 years since my first party.. and everything seems to be a lot different, no.. not everything.. the party is still the same, always been a great spectacle, the themes are the same, even though there are always some improvement over the creativity.. the crowd ? not exactly..
Actually.. I think.. It's just me whose changed.. I'm getting older and the party is always for them, the teenagers... ^^
Makes me feel so old.. =(

Maybe I have to change my part time job..Hmm.. being an activist for old folk's house would make me feel a lot younger I suppose... :p

About the title: Thir13en

Well.. I had some difficulty choosing the right title or even the right theme for the blog, I want it to be as 'me' as it can be..

I'm not a beginner in writing a blog, but I'm a beginner in designing a blog..

My idealistic mind thought that since the blog has to represent me as the writer, it should not be just ordinary (by using default template)...

So...

I began to try exploring who am I ? what is my real passion ? My hobby ? My uniqueness ?

I tried to look distinct things 'bout myself and so not just satisfied with just common title as Joe's Blog, Jojo's Blog or Jo-Blog.. as they are already used for hundreds of blogs ( well.. I did Googling =p).

I almost used IPENKZ (Item Kerempengz = black and skinny) for the title as it's my nickname given by some of my closest friends.. ^^

But then thx to Fanie, my dear friend who always gives big supports for what I do, once she texted me before leaving to Kuala Lumpur and 10 minutes before I put IPENKZ as my blog title, "Can't wait hearing the update from your project 13", I got surprised a bit since I never mentioned or even had any project 13... ^^

but so... I realized that 13 is not just my favourite number because I was born on February 13th.. 13 has always been my 'thing', my identity, my self-representative, and my lucky number which always been in any part of my life.. ^^

And here it is now.. After a time consuming text title designing with photoshop cs3..

I introduce name, title, brand or whatsoever my blog will called.. THIR13EN !

^^

Hope you guys like it.. hmm.. I think it much better than IPENKZ.. =p